Puzzle Pieces
by KnotofRibbon
Summary: You and I could never be in the end, anyhow. You left. So, what am I to do with myself? From Kaiba's POV
1. Pieces of You

'_**Puzzle Pieces'**_

**Summary:: You and I could never be in the end, anyhow. You left. So, what am I to do with myself?**

Warnings: A little cursing. I think that's about it, pretty much.

Pairings: None really. I guess, it's YamixKaiba. Sort of…

Disclaimer:: .Nothing.

The parts in italics are referring back to memories rather than the present tense.

You inspire me to fight. That's what you do. Originally, I was certain you knew just how much you encourage those around you.

Then, you left and I second guessed myself.

I second guessed _you. _

That day, a metaphor ran through my mind rampantly. I thought it was like you were dying and I was holding your limp form in my arms. However, you were neither heavy nor weightless. You just weren't there.

I wonder if that same thought ran through your mind at that time when you held my unconscious form with sturdy hands. I must say, to think of such an incident is embarrassing, to say the least.

But, you fought for me like I was some kind of precious friend you held in your hole of a heart. It swallowed me whole, you know.

You're overbearing, overwhelming, and _so_ beautifully poised. It makes me sick and excited at the same time. You're always stern in your decisions, thoughtful, but somehow always manage a smile to one of your cheerleaders.

I still can't see how you can stand calling them 'friends'.

Besides, _I'm_ the one who's both your strongest ally and enemy, right? Rivals up until the very end.

You could've at least given me one last duel before you left.

You could have spared me a little bit more decency than just your disappearance.

And, as those gates, to wherever you were leaving to, opened I watched as the lights surrounded your retreating form. I couldn't help but realize that I just _couldn't_ forget your darkness. It was in your name, wasn't it, Yami?

Yes, I still remember clearly your darkness streaming outward as if it were as bright as the rays of light.

That's another thing that swallowed me whole.

_Mind Crush, he said. I couldn't believe I'd lost._

_So, I sat in the darkness with shattered pieces of a heart laying about the strangely quiet room. Or, rather, it was more like a void of some kind. I picked up the small parts and tried to put them back together. Every once in a while I would find a couple that fit just right. _

_The things I remember the most, however, were not of those putting a heart back together. But, I vividly remember a sort of waking up but I was asleep. I recall looking down upon a childish version of myself. The child that played games for the sheer enjoyment of it and not for the sake of winning over someone. _

_Something so much more innocent than power._

_The reminders of my past with each puzzle piece was vivid and shocking. _

_I also remember a vague voice encouraging me to hurry and get myself right. I thought, perhaps, it was Mokuba. But, now that I've thought about it…It could have been your strong voice as well. _

You're always so confident. That determined look in your eyes burned me deeply. It scorched my insides into a bubbling mass of blood and anger. Maybe, even shame.

You're the only one that could make me feel that way.

Lately, I've been hearing rumors that I don't 'look' the same or I don't 'walk' the same. Just a bunch of horse shit to me. I mean, what's the point anymore?

Did I tell you that I gave up the duel?

Never thought that would happen, did you?

But, it's like I said. What's the point if the only person that instilled enough pride and competitive goose bumps in you died?

That's where you went, right? To your resting place.

Sometimes, I'd like to go to a resting place too but, I still have so much work to do.

But, you turned your back on me.

_All I could do was reach out and call out your name. I was unsure if it was a dream or a delusional reflection of how pathetic I was inside. _

_An illusion is all you were..? _

_I tried to grab a hold of you. I wouldn't have cared if you'd sprouted devilish wings out of your shoulder blades. I would have still been reaching for you._

_I wanted to capture your image but, you turned away from me. _

_Turned away and, disappeared into tiny particles that I wondered if they could brush against my skin like raindrops. _

_A storm is all you brought upon me. _

_I still wonder, what is real?_

Mokuba shoots these worried glances at me at times but, I can't help but feel numbly toward them. The poor kid could never be able to crawl inside my head.

I guess, you didn't do your job correctly, _did you_, Yami? I'm _still_ a 'shell of a human being', after all.

Just so you know, I hate you. I really despise you. No, loathe you.

I _loathe_ you for leaving me here in this hell hole of an earth. This corrupted nigh of a home.

Just so you know, I _hate_ you for lending me a helping hand then quickly snatching it back into your suit of armor before we could transcend anything, at all.

I _really despise _you for looking to me at that time with such careful caring that I couldn't help but soften my edges.

_I'd never seen that look on your face before. That depth of red pools bitten by bitterness, refreshed release, and the deepest of sadness. _

_Like a thorn on a rose._

_That's what you are to me. Sharp and the most beautiful part in a way. Capable of being avoided yet easy to make you flinch and recoil in pain. _

_But, just as you're the thorn…I must be the drifting petals. _

_You stepped up to me and smiled. You fucking smiled and, I couldn't understand why. _

"_Kaiba," you said in a gentle tone that was so unlike your normally confident demeanor. _

"_What," I snapped dully. _

"_I'm leaving soon. You know that, right?" He brushed a few of his blond bangs from his crimson eyes and met my own blues. _

"_I didn't," I said. For some reason, even I was feeling sad then. _

_He marched passed me but with more of a delicate frame than I would have never noticed had these circumstances not arisen. _

_I wondered if you were afraid._

_But, Yami never had fears. Anyone willing enough to waltz into their death was strong enough, or blind enough, to not have fears. _

_Ignorance can be a virtue but, are you playing the cards with a full deck?_

_That's another thing that enraptured me about you. _

_And, you showed me your colors that night we spent together. I never would have seen the subtleness of it all and, you weren't expecting me to be gentle. _

_I was surreal and it was perfect. _

_I took satisfaction in seeing that your submissive side was relevant and, I was subdued by the flaming chains your wrapped around my heart. _

_It was definitely worth the wait. Though, I'd never realized I was waiting. More so, I was anticipating seeing you like this. _

_That night, as we lay entwined in our cozy thorn bush bed, you whispered to me. _

"_You're like an ocean, Kaiba. Calm on the surface but with raging torrents of waves and layers underneath. Sometimes, it leaks through." I didn't understand but, in the same sense, I completely did. _

"_Mysterious, Yami. You really are like a rose."_

You chuckled with me for a while there. You fooled me, made me fall, then delivered the cut that was so seamlessly deep that it devoured me whole.

Yami, that's why when you were about to leave that day, and you happened to glance back at me, I hated you more than I ever thought I could muster up. I burned with desires that you left in the sand beneath your feet. Or, maybe, I was the sand between your toes.

You had this certain look in your eyes that I just couldn't place.

All I knew was that they were sparkling with something akin to shiny blades.

You knew I didn't want to let you go. Kaiba Seto never backs down but, I guess it really wasn't my choice to make.

You were going to do what you wanted to anyhow.

No one could have stopped you.

After all, you said it was where you belonged.

But, I wanted you to belong with me.

You're so even but, so odd.

Unpredictable, shameless, and so manipulative, sometimes.

How can someone do so many amazing things? But, as you would say, 'fate' is unkind to your lifespan. You died young, didn't you, Yami?

That's okay. I think I may have left as well back then.

You once said that you spent and eternity, it _seemed_, wandering in darkness. You had doubts back then. But, it was your own 'destiny' that had sealed you in that puzzle.

It took me so long to accept the truth.

And, you know, I've wandered blindly in darkness too. That's how I fell into your trap.

You ensnared me into your trap.

And, I saw you smirk in that confident manner of yours. It was cocky and maybe smug. It makes me laugh sometimes. I little irritable laugh because, you and I are alike in so many ways, Yami.

Darkness.

That name always suited you.

So, why was it as you left you were engulfed by the flames of light? Did I become your shadow at that time? _Normally unnoticed _by so many.

I didn't believe that you _deserved _such a grand ending. Not after you'd broken me, twice. No, three times.

_Countless times _but, this one _**stung**_. It really did.

Yami, you could have at least given me the chance to duel you one last time before you left. One last time to enjoy your presence.

Do you ignore me now?

That's why I hate you.

I swear, that's the real reason…

But, did I tell you? I gave up with playing games.

I'll bet you're still playing wherever you are with that same endless passion you seem to have always had. Dueling and fighting with your wide, wise, eyes.

That's why I can't hate you and, I hate you. You never give up.

Yami, you always win.

You've always got to beat me.

That's why I hate you.

I really do. I _swear._

My heart has been shattered _again_ by you.

I'm still trying to put the pieces back together.

(A/N: No, that is not supposed to be a joke ending. (Though, I was sort of thinking of doing it that way…) He's in denial like so many times in the series. He refuses to believe that he'd willingly given himself out to the chance to love. Instead, he was left heartbroken.

Yami's a doughbag, huh?

Anyhow, I hope that you can make sense of this and, yes…I know it's short and I know that it sucks terribly. It was a spur of the moment thing, really.

I was going to put another past part around where Kaiba says that he gave up the duel. It was going to be Mokuba crying out, "But, Nii-sama! What about the children?!" Buuut, I thought that might be a little bit too much of a joke. :/ I'm bad at jokes…

Can you tell?

I realize that the text swiveled from past to present tense a lot but, I assure you, I did it on purpose. And, it bounces around (the story line - What story line..?) a bit because, I really wasn't paying too much attention and didn't know where I was going a lot of the time. AND, I'm severely sleep deprived! So, I pretty much just wrote whatever crappy thought came into my mind.

I guess, in a sense it works though because it's from the point of view of a person who's now lost in their mind. Wouldn't thoughts bouncing from one subject to the next be all they had?

Plus, thinking to much and getting lost in thought will do that to anyone, anyway.

…Why am I explaining myself? Hm… (And talking to self. Great.)

Anyhow, thanks to all of you that have reviewed my other stories! I know I should be working on the chapters and such but…Inspiration has evaded me. It just has to come to me and cure me of my writer's blocks and loss of the urge to be creative. Please, forgive me.

R&R, puhwease?

Take care~

P.S. And, if you got through this story alive…Then, you're a stronger man than I (actually a woman - with boobs and such.).

KnotofRibbon)


	2. The Designs of You and Me

_Warnings: None really. _

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh but, if I did it would be a lot darker. Because, evil is fun. Though, the entire world might turn suicidal…So, it's best that I don't own it. Which, I do not. So, that takes care of that potential issue. Heh heh**_

'_**Puzzle Pieces'**_

_**Act: 2**_

'_**The Designs of You and Me'**_

**By: KnotofRibbon**

Life is like a spider web.

You spin it the way you like with your own design. One that would suit you and you can lay there and rest to think. Sometimes, you climb to reach the top and, other times you fall down but, it's controlled.

Life is a lot of waiting.

Waiting for something good. Expecting something bad and, you watch with careful eyes until one or the other comes along to steal you. It makes you so wrapped up in yourself while you're twirling the others around you in a sealed death trap, so to speak.

There's always inspiration behind every story. Even if it was subconscious.

That's what I think and, it applies to everything really. It's true that it may confuse you and then you begin to wonder just how, where, and why such thoughts came to your mind.

Well, don't ask me. They're _your_ senses to take check of.

People are like rain.

They can be soothing, chaotic, confusing, deliberate, heavy, light, cold, warm, and the list goes on. Sometimes, we become worse off and sometimes we break to sunshine and rainbows and all that jazz that _no one_ ends up caring about in the end. Sure, you're excited for a moment, but then the purpose just dies, doesn't it?

You know, it's these strange and twisting thoughts that make me wonder if I'm losing my mind or if I've _already_ lost it. The sound of thunder startles me awake and there I lay and stare at the ceiling with a wandering mind. Mostly, I can't even register what I'm thinking about until something shocks me. Then, I start to believe.

It's not just me, is it?

Those eyes still stare at me, like a hawk eyeing up it's prey, in the impenetrable darkness. Beating as if they had a pulse and breaking me to the point where I stand and chase after the wind you left behind. Sometimes, I feel like my feet can step in time with yours and fall into the craters you left behind.

Because, in the end isn't that what I was disposed as? An empty crater yet so full of these thoughts and emotions that it's almost unbearable.

It's true what they say. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and I am strong. I died and yet, I survived and I _was strong_. I was. I existed among you all for a long time. However, looking back on it now I wish it would have been a bit longer still.

Because, even if you're still alive you may have already died.

It's hard. It _really_ is to remember such things. Despite my other half, you were the one that made the biggest impression on me. After all, when I glanced back, I saw the expression on your face as I was leaving you all in the dust. It made me believe that you were a liar and you didn't hate me so as you had claimed in all those moments of desperation.

We had an understanding. We had a certain bond. And, we most _definitely_ had the deepest respect for each other.

I can see now that you didn't really want me to leave. Perhaps, you were envious that you didn't get to duel me and, in that sense, we didn't have a real farewell.

I apologize for that.

I won't say that I want you to forgive me, however, because I don't. I want you to really, un-scathingly, hate me. Then, I could be with you forever. Or, at least until you pass on as well. But, that's long enough, isn't it?

Life is like a spider web.

Remember that well and dissect it and rip it apart. You build your own dreams. You were always good at that. It's complicated.

Sometimes, when I'm lying here, not really breathing anymore, I think about you. I allow my mind drift, because that's all I have now, to wondering if you can feel my presence still with you, within you.

I tell myself, yes. I pretend that you could never forget me.

But, the undeniable truth is that after a few years you'll all carry on as if I never existed. You'll smile on as if I weren't gone. You'll laugh like I never made my mark on time.

And, that hurts but… I don't want any of you to hurt.

The undeniable truth is that you could have forgotten me by now. You could have pushed me to the corners of your mind and sealed me up in that cocoon along the spider web, hiding me. I'd suffocate in my little pieces but be proud and happy at the same time.

That was one thing we both shared_. Pride. _

Maybe, we'll be joined once again some day.

I promise you another duel. That's what we liked the most, right?

You see, life is like a game. All you have to do is know how to play it.

(A/N:: Short, I know. But… I have no idea where in the world that was going. Maybe, we can just think of it as a second part, from Yami's POV this time, of Puzzle Pieces. Yes, reading over this now, we can certainly deduct that that was where it was coming from. Perhaps… I hope it made a little sense to you all.

Take care!

KnotofRibbon)


End file.
